Minkler Week 6

 This week, we read “A Temporary Matter” by Jhumpa Lahiri. This was a story about a grieving couple who have recently lost their child in the birthing process. It tells the tale of Shoba, who throws herself into her work by spending long hours proofreading, and goes to the gym regularly. She no longer goes grocery shopping or likes to cook. It is obvious that she is depressed, but is taking care of herself despite all she has been through. It also tells of Shukumar, her husband who is a thirty five year old student, who has taken the semester off from teaching to grieve. He rarely leaves the house and tries to spend the least amount of time with his wife as possible. Their marriage is clearly struggling. While tragic situations like this do happen more often than we would like, it may be more difficult for the couple because of their cultural dislocation. They are both from India, but Shoba spent more of her childhood there than Shukumar did. From what I have read in the supplemental readings, postpartum traditions and Hindu religious ceremonies are taken very seriously in India. The child is celebrated often and lots of time and attention is given to the healing mother after the birthing process. Postpartum mothers are not to do housework, be stressed, eat junk food, etc. until the six week healing process is over. Usually, the mother’s mother comes to stay with the family for a while to help. While Shoba’s mother did come to help out after the birth, she did blame Shukumar for not being there for her daughter, which took a toll on him. Shoba healed, but could not participate in the religious rites of motherhood, and didn’t have a baby to hold. They were not surrounded by friends and family to help them through the grieving process. This led them farther away from each other, and in the end, Shoba moves out and leaves her husband. This story shows how you don’t always know what other people have been through, and that other cultures handle grief and depression differently. 

(2009). Hindu baby rites. BBC. https://www.bbc.co.uk/religion/religions/hinduism/ritesrituals/baby.shtml 

Lahiri, J. (1998). A temporary matter. The New Yorker. https://moodle.morningside.edu/mod/resource/view.php?id=1149987 

Learning from India’s postpartum traditions. Nutrition Care of Rochester. https://www.nutritioncareofrochester.com/article.cfm?ArticleNumber=30