This was a very interesting and sad story. The story A Temporary Matter by Jhumpa Lahiri is about a couple who have gone through the unimaginable sadness of losing a child. What started off as a good working partnership, has now turned into a couple who is coexisting and keeping secrets. The title really got me thinking two different ways. The idea of a “temporary matter“ could be even though the loss of their child is difficult, this is just a temporary situation they were in. Even though they will forever feel sad, if they can get through this hard time, this temporary time, that they can get back to the way they were. Another way to look at it could be their marriage, and the life they were going to have was only “temporary“. Now that they have gone through what they have, the feelings they had for each other were temporary, and it is time to move on. There are many different ways. You could look at this story, but I was very interested to find the different meanings within it.
According to the Nutrition & Lactation Education center, there are many practices put into place for what to do during and after pregnancy such as diet and nutrition, personal care, and other things that new mothers should not do. However, there are not practices for people who have lost a baby. Those types of articles don’t prepare you for how you are going to feel, what you can do to prepare yourself, and how your life moves forward. I believe the cultural dislocation to the story is the idea that you can do everything right, but things can still go wrong. How does this couple then move on from that? What can they do to help each other get through the unthinkable? Finally, the BBC article talked about different rituals that new parents can do with their new babies. Again, though, none of the rituals talked about what to do if you no longer have that baby. For example, the ear piercing ceremony. I wonder if this is something that could be conducted even if the baby passes? The family still name the child as well as pierced the ear? I think this could be a way they could’ve tied these rituals together. The story shows how their cultural dislocation amplifies the sense of loss and disconnection in their marriage, making it more challenging for them to navigate their grief and find a path for healing.’
References:
BBC. (2009, August 24). Religions - hinduism: Baby rites. BBC. https://www.bbc.co.uk/religion/religions/hinduism/ritesrituals/baby.shtml
Lahiri, Jhumpa. “A Temporary Matter.” Interpreter of Maladies. New York: Houghton Mifflin, 1991. 1-21.
Learning from India’s postpartum traditions. Nutrition & Lactation Education Rochester NY. (n.d.). https://www.nutritioncareofrochester.com/article.cfm?ArticleNumber=30
Morgan,
ReplyDeleteI noticed there was also not practice or support for families that lose children. Your ideas about proceeding with a couple of the ceremonies/traditions when able to after loss are great. Perhaps this could have brought some peace and/or comfort to Shoba and Shukumar to fulfill these promising events? At the same time, I wonder if this would be frowned upon in the Indian culture since there is no "procedure" laid out for it. Maybe it could be considered disrespectful? This could also have been something Shoba and Shukumar did not think of in their grief.
I also noticed that there was no information about rituals when a baby is stillborn or with pregnancy loss. After reading other posts, I have learned that there is a stigma around these events and culturally it could cause shame. I even read in one response that the husband was able to divorce over such tragedy. Knowing that now, I can see why the wife's grief pushed her away, while the husband's grief kept him inside and isolated.
ReplyDeleteYou had a great question about how some of the rituals could have still been completed. My guess is that since the death of the baby would bring shame, the rituals would not be held. I am not sure, but it would be nice for the grieving parents to have that option.
Brenna,
ReplyDeleteYou make a really good point about it being frowned up. That is terrible to think that it would be. What you said goes along with what Mandy said. That is terrible that a husband could divorce his wife for that reason. It is totally out of their control. It is very interesting to see how other cultures handle situations very differently.