The loss might have been affected by cultural dislocation because they shut out others around them such as friends and even friends of friends since the loss. Perhaps, maybe if Shoba and Shukamar were still living within their culture they would’ve invited friends to help them through the grieving process instead of shutting both them and each other out. Shoba and Shukamar became incredibly distant to one another and no longer recognized each other as the woman/man they’d fallen in love with. They had kept secrets from one another, especially as it related to their loss and grief and these secrets created distance between them post birth.
According to Nutrition Care of Rochester, a new mother’s mom will stay with her for about six weeks to meet the needs of both her newborn and recovering mother who’s given birth (Nutrition, n.d.). However, due to cultural dislocation, Shoba was not able to experience this necessary care after giving birth. When in reality, she likely needed and required more care after the loss of her child, rather than giving birth to a healthy child. Had this practice taken place for Shoba, her and Shukamar’s marriage and bond could have potentially been spared. The many customs and traditions of India’s postpartum care “acts as a preventative to postpartum depression” (Nutrition, n.d.). This reitorates the previous statement that perhaps Shoba and Shukamar’s marriage could have been spared had they been able to follow India’s postpartum traditions, as Shoba’s emotional , mental, and physical needs would have been met.
According to BBC (2009), Hindu rituals include something known as the Punsavana ceremony, which occurs three months into pregnancy to protect the fetus and promote strong physical growth of the fetus. Another ceremony is performed at the seventh month of pregnancy, called Simantonnyana, which emphasizes healthy mental development of the fetus as well as meeting the mother’s needs as Hindus believe the mental state of a pregnant woman affects the unborn child (BBC, 2009). Therefore, the loss could have been possibly less likely had these traditions and ceremonies been carried out, through their cultural beliefs, to protect and promote health for the unborn child.
References
BBC. (2009). Religions - hinduism: Baby rites. BBC. https://www.bbc.co.uk/religion/religions/hinduism/ritesrituals/baby.shtml
Lahiri, J. “A Temporary Matter.” Interpreter of Maladies. New York: Houghton Mifflin, 1991. 1-21.
Nutrition Care of Rochester. (n.d.). Learning from India’s postpartum traditions. https://www.nutritioncareofrochester.com/article.cfm?ArticleNumber=30
I think the idea that friends could have helped them through this hard time is a good thought. I wonder if the distance between Shoba and Shukumar was also trying to protect each other. Shukumar hadn't wanted to tell Shoba he had held their son because she wanted the gender to be a surprise. They never got that chance. In turn, Shoba had been the one to push him to be gone so she was protecting him from her want of him being there and loss.
ReplyDeleteI also pointed out that Shoba needed the same treatment that Indian women are giving after birth. She may have been in more of need with the loss of her son. Maybe it would have helped ease pain physically and mentally.
Something I had not thought about until I read you post is that maybe they both felt guilt about not practicing the cultural rituals through the pregnancy. I suppose it might be akin to survivor's guilt, which is a very heavy burden.
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