Akkermann - Week 6 Blog Post

 Week 6: Article Summaries and Commentary

Grief is a complicated state. One never anticipates being in its presence; once one faces it, one will see many ways to handle grief. Lahiri (1991) paints a picture of a couple who have suffered the loss of a child and have drifted away from one another. Shoba buries herself in work outside the home, and Shukumar wants to stay home to block out the world (Lahiri, 1991). Their Indian culture may influence the loss of their child. Those who practice Hinduism have rituals carried out from the time babies are born until they are school age (“Hindu Baby Rites”). Hindu rituals that take place before the birth of a child are to ensure that the child will be well physically and mentally (“Hindu Baby Rites”). Lahiri (1991), through Shukumar, tells us about the baby: “Our baby was a boy. His skin was more red than brown, He had black hair on his head. He weighed almost five pounds. His fingers curled shut, just like yours in the night” (p.20). So, in a way, Hindu ceremonies helped because the baby was physically sound. The mental state of the child may be what they would consider the downfall of the pregnancy because it is Hindu belief “that the mental state of a pregnant woman affects the unborn child” (“Hindu Baby Rites”). Their child would never experience rituals like the rice ceremony (Lahiri, 1991), Jatakarma, Namakarna, Annaprasana, or Karneavedha (“Hindu Baby Rites”). I am sure the idea of not being able to experience these rituals put them at a loss, especially since they had anticipated being able to carry them. 

In Indian culture, mothers are well cared for after giving birth. They are given a time of rest at their mother’s house, doing nothing but healing and feeding their baby (“Learning from India’s Postpartum Traditions”). In Shoba’s case, her mother came to her home and cared for her by cooking, cleaning, praying for more grandchildren, and being unhappy with Shukumar because he had not been there (Lahiri, 1991). The Indian culture is effective in treating mothers with living children and those who experience the same loss as Shoba. The needs are the same and more so. “A mother’s support system should be nourishing and supportive in such a way that she is able to get all the help and affection she needs to heal and recuperate well after birth both physically and emotionally (“Learning from India’s Postpartum Traditions”). Shoba needed this, and I don’t think she got it until she and her husband began talking again in the dark (Lahini, 1991). Both were in the dark because the loss of their son was a surprise to them. “Something happened when the house was dark. They were able to talk to each other again” (Lahini, 1991, p. 19). Talking through their darkness in the dark allowed them to “weep together, for the things they now knew” (Lahini, 1991, p.21)

 

References

“Hindu Baby Rites.” https://Www.bbc.co.uk/Religion/Religions/Hinduism/Ritesrituals/Baby.s, 24 Aug. 2009. Accessed 11 July 2024.

Lahiri, Jhumpa. “A Temporary Matter.” Interpreter of Maladies. New York, Houghton Mifflin, 1991, pp. 1–21.

“Learning from India’s Postpartum Traditions.” www.nutritioncareofrochester.com, www.nutritioncareofrochester.com/article.cfm?ArticleNumber=30. Accessed 13 July 2024.