Campbell - Week 6

Kirsten Campbell

ENGL 478 G

Week 6 Post 

When I looked at Shoba and Shukumar’s culture, I connected their story to many couples. I also found a few connections with my parents as they tried to conceive. Despite the cultural differences, loss occurs every day.  The similarity between the couple and my parents is that “The doctor explained that these things happen”(Lahiri, 1998). My mom experienced a handful of miscarriages, one of which was even life-threatening to her health. My dad asked the question of how we could prevent them because he saw the toll it was taking on my mom, and the doctor said the same thing. Doctors cannot be so involved and share too much empathy with their patients because it will cause attachment problems. Still, I wish they had more to say than “it happens” because there are women who struggle and have three to five miscarriages before their rainbow baby. Because of the traumatic experience of miscarriage and stillborn births, mothers often do not want to try again. 

Unlike my parents, Shoba and Shukumar struggled to confide in each other about the loss of their child. I cannot imagine losing a child yet, but I can imagine it being a huge mountain to climb. I feel like also the roles and portrayals of men and women in society come into play here as they both try to go back to life as if this colossal loss never happened, and their relationship deteriorates.  “They wept together, for the things they now knew” (Lahiri, 1998). It was after Shoba announced that she had found an apartment where Shukumar opened up. This is the moment where they realize they both need each other. 

There is much more emphasis on traditions in India than in the United States. In the United States, parents celebrate with an announcement, then they have a gender reveal, baby showers, and then when the baby is born. After that, parents celebrate the child’s sixth-month birthday and first birthday. In the article Baby Rites, ceremonies and prayers are held for the child, such as going out for the first time, eating solid foods, ear piercings, or first haircut. These things happen for babies in the U.S. but are not considered traditions. This is why the loss for Shoba and Shukumar was so drastic: they were already through many of these traditions and were looking forward to the future with their child. The only other similarity I found was belly binding, which many women in the U.S. do when they have a cesarean birth. Weirdly, though, women who have a vaginal birth do not get offered a belly band at the hospital, but women who have a cesarean birth do. India’s postpartum traditions are very beneficial for women because they can prevent rheumatism, arthritis, backaches, and joint pains in the future. I also found that their diet and other postpartum remedies were very interesting as well. Looking back at Shoba, it is never specified that she recuperated; she just distracted herself with work, but she had to go through the postpartum traditions with no baby present, and we see the postpartum depression through her, as she lacked eye contact with Shukumar, neither of them wanted to talk about it, which lead her to the thought of getting away from it all. 

References:

Lahiri, J. (1998). A temporary matter. The New Yorker. https://moodle.morningside.edu/mod/resource/view.php?id=1149987

Learning from India’s postpartum traditions. Nutrition Care of Rochester. (n.d.). https://www.nutritioncareofrochester.com/article.cfm?ArticleNumber=30

Religions - Hinduism: Baby rites. BBC. (2009). https://www.bbc.co.uk/religion/religions/hinduism/ritesrituals/baby.shtml