Beckman - Week 6

This story was a very difficult topic to read about. Obviously, the loss of their child had a huge impact on Shoba and Shakumar. I found it interesting that what lead to their healing and moving on was an old tradition that Shoba experienced when living in India. At first, I thought the secrets were Shoba’s way of reconnecting with Shakumar. By seeing the worst parts of each other, maybe they could both move on from losing their child. After I found out that Shoba was using this as a way to tell Shakumar that she needed space and was moving out, I was devastated. I do wonder if this was her way of healing in reverse. The article about Hindu postpartum traditions talks about how the mother isn’t left alone for 6 weeks, doesn’t do housework or cooking, and generally works on healing and providing for baby. After her loss, Shoba also had her mother come and help out and Shakumar cooks and helps to do the things that Shoba normally did. She was, in a way, experiencing the postpartum rituals without bringing home a baby. To me, it makes sense that she might want to take care of herself and be alone to start her healing. 

I also thought it was interesting how we got to see so much of Shakumar’s grief. The grief of male partner’s is not at the forefront of people’s minds after a miscarriage happens. It is clear that Shakumar feels this loss heavily. I think it is even more sad because he had just gotten to that stage of ‘we can do this’ and was excited to be a parent and then he found out the news. I thought it was a nice view of both sides of grief that we typically don’t see. 

Lahiri, Jhumpa. “A Temporary Matter.” Interpreter of Maladies. New York: Houghton Mifflin, 1991. 1-21.

Learning from India’s Postpartum Traditions. (n.d.). https://www.nutritioncareofrochester.com/article.cfm?ArticleNumber=30

Gill - Week 6

When I read the short story, I was crushed as a woman who has had three miscarriages. I know this is a tough enough subject to deal with without being affected by cultural dislocation. There is so much guilt that both men and women feel when a stillborn happens. Not to mention the fact that men and women deal with grief differently. However, these two did not have anyone from their culture to help them. There did not seem to be a funeral or burial. There are no friends and family around to help them.  

If the couple were still in India, Shoba might have had six weeks of postpartum recovery, with her mother there to help with warm baths and massages. Instead, she jumps back to work without even really grieving, exercising to forget about weight gain and body distortion. Then Shukumar, given time to work on his Distortion, has time to think. He is supposed to research, write, and work but instead feels guilty.  

You assume that Shoba is upset at Shukumar because he was not with her, but he was networking and trying to be successful. Who could have known that something like this would happen while he was gone? Shukumar is trying to take care of Shoba, but when neither talks to the other, no one takes care of the other. They get overlooked by neighbors and friends who are taught not to pry and meddle in the United States. Cultural dislocation is complex. You don't fdon'tike anyone can understand what you are going through because they do not share the same culture or belief. You already feel like an outsider, and then your world shatters. They are both dealing with a difficult situation in a difficult place. I am glad they created time to talk; maybe those talks will continue for both. They may find support groups or help from their place of worship so they are not alone.

Lahiri, J. (1998). A temporary matter. The New Yorker https://moodle.morningside.edu/mod/resource/view.php?id=1149987

Learning from India’s India'stum Traditions. (n.d.). https://www.nutritioncareofrochester.com/article.cfm?ArticleNumber=30

Bolinder Week 6

Week 6: Article Summaries and Commentary

Prior to motherhood I would have had sympathy for the woman in the short story. As a mother now, reading this story, I ached for the loss they both endured. It was very hard to read and as described in the prompt, their unimaginable loss takes a toll on their life and their relationship with each other. The articles we read described the way the Hindu people surround mothers in support while pregnant and after birth.  The article speaks to the culture of moving back in with your mother so that you can be "mothered" while you are learning how to be one yourself. They put a large focus on familial support and are very intentional about the nutritious foods that they are giving to the new moms while they heal and work to feed their new baby.  Beyond this they also celebrate the small moments like going out in public for the first time and piercing their ears.  Had the woman been in India for this very difficult time, I can only imagine that even though her baby did not make it, her family would have surrounded her in support just the same. Rather, her husband was unsure how to connect with her and have difficult conversations and work through their grief.  Even though her mother was able to visit, it was only for a short time and not enough of what the woman needed. Their dislocation made a very tough time even more challenging. Specifically for the Indian culture and the way they support women as compared to the lack of support generally in the United States, this would be a very challenging time to be away from home.  

Dislocation takes you away from your familial support and life as you know it.  In a new country with different food, culture, and people, you are coping with so much more than your typical life circumstances.  Life is challenging enough without adding in the absence of family, traditions, close friends, among other things that bring comfort and joy to people adding to their quality of life. The distance from home led to distance in their relationship, more time needed for healing, and it takes an electrical fix for them to gain some necessary intentional time to reconnect with one another.

Resources:

Learning from India’s Postpartum Traditions. (n.d.). https://www.nutritioncareofrochester.com/article.cfm?ArticleNumber=30

BBC - Religions - Hinduism: Baby rites. (n.d.). https://www.bbc.co.uk/religion/religions/hinduism/ritesrituals/baby.shtml

Campbell - Week 6

Kirsten Campbell

ENGL 478 G

Week 6 Post 

When I looked at Shoba and Shukumar’s culture, I connected their story to many couples. I also found a few connections with my parents as they tried to conceive. Despite the cultural differences, loss occurs every day.  The similarity between the couple and my parents is that “The doctor explained that these things happen”(Lahiri, 1998). My mom experienced a handful of miscarriages, one of which was even life-threatening to her health. My dad asked the question of how we could prevent them because he saw the toll it was taking on my mom, and the doctor said the same thing. Doctors cannot be so involved and share too much empathy with their patients because it will cause attachment problems. Still, I wish they had more to say than “it happens” because there are women who struggle and have three to five miscarriages before their rainbow baby. Because of the traumatic experience of miscarriage and stillborn births, mothers often do not want to try again. 

Unlike my parents, Shoba and Shukumar struggled to confide in each other about the loss of their child. I cannot imagine losing a child yet, but I can imagine it being a huge mountain to climb. I feel like also the roles and portrayals of men and women in society come into play here as they both try to go back to life as if this colossal loss never happened, and their relationship deteriorates.  “They wept together, for the things they now knew” (Lahiri, 1998). It was after Shoba announced that she had found an apartment where Shukumar opened up. This is the moment where they realize they both need each other. 

There is much more emphasis on traditions in India than in the United States. In the United States, parents celebrate with an announcement, then they have a gender reveal, baby showers, and then when the baby is born. After that, parents celebrate the child’s sixth-month birthday and first birthday. In the article Baby Rites, ceremonies and prayers are held for the child, such as going out for the first time, eating solid foods, ear piercings, or first haircut. These things happen for babies in the U.S. but are not considered traditions. This is why the loss for Shoba and Shukumar was so drastic: they were already through many of these traditions and were looking forward to the future with their child. The only other similarity I found was belly binding, which many women in the U.S. do when they have a cesarean birth. Weirdly, though, women who have a vaginal birth do not get offered a belly band at the hospital, but women who have a cesarean birth do. India’s postpartum traditions are very beneficial for women because they can prevent rheumatism, arthritis, backaches, and joint pains in the future. I also found that their diet and other postpartum remedies were very interesting as well. Looking back at Shoba, it is never specified that she recuperated; she just distracted herself with work, but she had to go through the postpartum traditions with no baby present, and we see the postpartum depression through her, as she lacked eye contact with Shukumar, neither of them wanted to talk about it, which lead her to the thought of getting away from it all. 

References:

Lahiri, J. (1998). A temporary matter. The New Yorker. https://moodle.morningside.edu/mod/resource/view.php?id=1149987

Learning from India’s postpartum traditions. Nutrition Care of Rochester. (n.d.). https://www.nutritioncareofrochester.com/article.cfm?ArticleNumber=30

Religions - Hinduism: Baby rites. BBC. (2009). https://www.bbc.co.uk/religion/religions/hinduism/ritesrituals/baby.shtml

Schiefelbein - Week 6: Formulating a Philosophy

 Cultural dislocation is a unique challenge for anyone new to the U.S.   A Temporary Matter helped me to better understand how important cultural traditions are to one's identity as well as one's ability to cope through grief and loss.  The story also serves as a strong illustration of how cultural dislocation is unique to the individual, as both characters experience it on different levels.

I think this story paints a poignant portrait of the consequences cultural dislocation can have on our relationships with others.  When faced with challenging situations, we can become isolated and disoriented, when lacking the understanding of our own cultural expectations.  Similar to the characters' experience with the cultural norms of India, the supplemental texts provided some insight about the lives that the characters had expected to be living, but also left gaps in understanding how to react after the unexpected loss of their child.  As I read the story, I was reminded of the Glazier and Seo article, and felt like I was with Shukumar, fumbling through awkward interactions and feelings of failure and hopelessness.  And, while Shoba was able to rely on the postpartum Indian rituals to help with her physical recovery, she was unable to access resources to help her deal with the perinatal grief she was experiencing.  These vacancies largely influenced the loss of relationship between the two characters, and illustrated for me how much we all depend on cultural norms.

Stories woven with characters from diverse backgrounds are powerful tools that evoke dialogue in my classroom.  I think it is important that as I welcome more diversity into my classroom, that I lay the foundation for respectful discourse and guide my students to explore their own family histories and traditions.  I also need to be mindful of the instructional materials I use.  I strive to be diligent about finding text with which each student can connect, and to provide opportunities for my students to interact with stories through multiple lenses.

References

Ezell, S., & Daly, A. (2022). Honoring multiple identities using multicultural literature. Texas Association for Literacy Education Yearbook, 9, 35 - 41

Glazier, J., & Seo, J.-A. (2005). Multicultural literature discussions as mirror and window? Journal of adolescent & adult literacy. 48(8), 686-700.

Stevenson Blog 6

 The short story, A Temporary Matter began with the couple receiving the news that they would be without power in the evenings for the next few days. Initially, the reader could assume this was a normal conversation between a married couple.  Rather quickly, however, we could tell that there was a strain on this marriage. The author gives us several details to infer this couple is nearing the end of their marriage, even before the reader learns of tragic loss of their baby. They use the lack of power as an opportunity to open the door to communication. They begin sharing things that they hadn't told each other. In a way they were airing out their secrets with one another while skirting around the major cause of disconnect. It appears that they are becoming closer to reconciling and possibly making their marriage work, but once the power returns, it is revealed that the wife is moving out and the husband confesses that he held their baby boy. He swore to himself that he would never tell her because it was when he still loved her and didn't want to hurt her. By telling this final secret,  it seems like he is acknowledging that the marriage is over. When the wife turns out the lights and sits back at the table, it makes it appear that there is hope for them and leaves the reader to wonder what their future will hold. 

The couple were both children of immigrants from India.  The wife has traveled to India significantly more than the husband and it is clear that they do not have equal connections to their heritage. He cooks food from their culture, but there is no discussion about any of the pregnancy traditions mentioned in the readings being done, which makes me wonder if they were performed. Being children of immigrants, I do not get the impression that there are many Indian immigrants in the community that would have participated in these rituals. They had friends nearby that came for birthday parties, but none came to visit after the birth while they were grieving.  However, after the birth, her mother came to stay as she would have if the baby survived. She prepared meals, washed clothes, and performed the chores so that her daughter could rest and heal. She followed the customs of Hindu rituals for her daughter. 

Reading the story first helped me to try to connect to their experiences without knowing what I was going to be asked to reflect on. The introduction of the characters' names led me to believe they were an Indian couple and as the story went on, this was confirmed. After reading the articles, I was able to look at the story through a different lens. I looked at their experiences as children of immigrants and how they must have felt isolated and alone during this difficult time when their heritage and customs should have provided comfort. The absence of a cultural community hindered their healing process. Going through the loss of a child and feeling as though you are alone in the process would be enough to sever any marriage. 

To connect the article by Goodwin, just as educators need to take different approaches with our immigrant population of students, health care professionals need to do the same. They need to be understanding of rituals, traditions, and beliefs surrounding health care and child birth. I know that one of my students made the difficult and traumatizing journey from El Salvador to Ankeny all alone as a 12 year old. He endured the elements and abuse all alone and the trauma obviously did not disappear the second he crossed the border. As teachers, we had to be responsive to this and when he informed us that his younger brother was taking that same journey, we created a plan to assist him, while still maintaining high standards of learning. A doctor delivering a still born baby of a Hindu couple needs to be responsive to that trauma and connect with the patients to guide them to the appropriate resources for their culture. 

BBC. (2009, August 24). Religions - hinduism: Baby rites. BBC. https://www.bbc.co.uk/religion/religions/hinduism/ritesrituals/baby.shtml

Goodwin, A. L. (2016). Who is in the classroom now? teacher preparation and the education of Immigrant Children. Educational Studies, 53(5), 433–449. https://doi.org/10.1080/00131946.2016.1261028

Lahiri, Jhumpa. A temporary matter. Interpreter of Maladies. New York: Houghton Mifflin, 1991. 1-21. 

Hamm Week 6

     I took a thorough look in the "mirror" with this story and article.  I am never pleased when I read an inflammatory article that works diligently to provide a separation between the people of the country. The article about the students in the classrooms leads new educators to believe they need to create a separation between how they prepare for students of color, which is an abusive use of scholarly information.  New educators, and those in the profession long term, need to be looking at how to mend the disruptions of politicized color lines! This separation will never provide a positive route for unification on important matters. A country can only grow together or separate! The more American citizens allow the politicians to determine how we look at our neighbors, the more likely the country will divide.   it does provide some interesting constructs about the situation within the story and women of America.  

    Throughout American history, several things have happened to the birthing process of the American woman—from being alone with a midwife in settlement days to being kept in a hospital for over a week with no real access to the infant during the 50s. (Rice, Norma. 2000) Speculatively, one could guess that these things altered to assist the new mom to acclimate to the new life they delivered. Over the last 30-35 years there have been integrations back to midwife presence during deliveries, family staying and helping with the new infant, and extended maternity leaves (I am always curious why some women get angry at these measures because they were designed to assist, but to some, it feels like control). 

    The couple in this story does not have any control—not over the loss or how they are dealing with the tragedy.  Their culture plays a large role on both sides of their loss.  The husband seems to be hit harder by the loss, which could be tied to him holding the deceased infant before the undertaker cremated the body. This is not a practice from his Indian culture, in fact, it is frowned upon.  It was suggested by the American doctors that he should hold the infant and he had no guidance from others, like his deceased father.  Holding the child weighed on him, and he kept it a secret from his wife.  She, on the other hand, had a more Indian, culturally tied, family.  She missed some of the rites, but her mother did come to take care of her after the loss of the baby.  Interestingly enough, in Idia, the loss of an infant is shamed and there are zero instances where emotion is coddled. The husband can even take a new wife, who may provide the progeny needed to continue the familial line.  The mother-in-law also seemed to blame the husband for not being around when the baby was born.  

    I make a tie here to a story that was told to me by my grandmother, whom I referenced above.  She told me that in her mother's time, there were many stillbirths and lost children to various illnesses that could not be treated either due to lack of money or medical technology.  The mothers had to continue because there was no one else to take care of the day-to-day.  How is it that the industrialized world falls apart because one person calls someone else a name that they dislike, but cultures around the world move from one tragedy through another without the hangups that we seem to sift through? 

 

References: 

Goodwin, A. L. (2016). Who is in the classroom now? teacher preparation and the education of Immigrant Children. Educational Studies, 53(5), 433–449. https://doi.org/10.1080/00131946.2016.1261028  

Lahiri, J. (1991). A temporary matter. New York; Houghton Mifflin.

Roberts, L. R., Anderson, B. A., Lee, J. W., & Montgomery, S. B. (2012b). Grief and women: Stillbirth in the social context of India. International Journal of Childbirth, 2(3), 187–198. https://doi.org/10.1891/2156-5287.2.3.187  

Minkler Week 6

 This week, we read “A Temporary Matter” by Jhumpa Lahiri. This was a story about a grieving couple who have recently lost their child in the birthing process. It tells the tale of Shoba, who throws herself into her work by spending long hours proofreading, and goes to the gym regularly. She no longer goes grocery shopping or likes to cook. It is obvious that she is depressed, but is taking care of herself despite all she has been through. It also tells of Shukumar, her husband who is a thirty five year old student, who has taken the semester off from teaching to grieve. He rarely leaves the house and tries to spend the least amount of time with his wife as possible. Their marriage is clearly struggling. While tragic situations like this do happen more often than we would like, it may be more difficult for the couple because of their cultural dislocation. They are both from India, but Shoba spent more of her childhood there than Shukumar did. From what I have read in the supplemental readings, postpartum traditions and Hindu religious ceremonies are taken very seriously in India. The child is celebrated often and lots of time and attention is given to the healing mother after the birthing process. Postpartum mothers are not to do housework, be stressed, eat junk food, etc. until the six week healing process is over. Usually, the mother’s mother comes to stay with the family for a while to help. While Shoba’s mother did come to help out after the birth, she did blame Shukumar for not being there for her daughter, which took a toll on him. Shoba healed, but could not participate in the religious rites of motherhood, and didn’t have a baby to hold. They were not surrounded by friends and family to help them through the grieving process. This led them farther away from each other, and in the end, Shoba moves out and leaves her husband. This story shows how you don’t always know what other people have been through, and that other cultures handle grief and depression differently. 

(2009). Hindu baby rites. BBC. https://www.bbc.co.uk/religion/religions/hinduism/ritesrituals/baby.shtml 

Lahiri, J. (1998). A temporary matter. The New Yorker. https://moodle.morningside.edu/mod/resource/view.php?id=1149987 

Learning from India’s postpartum traditions. Nutrition Care of Rochester. https://www.nutritioncareofrochester.com/article.cfm?ArticleNumber=30 

DeFord Week 6

"Lonely" is the word that comes to mind after reading Lahiri's A Temporary Matter. Shukumar and Shoba's Indian heritage plays a large part of their story. As immigrants, they are set apart from both their parents and their neighbors by their lifestyle which is neither completely Western, nor completely Eastern. The meal tradition seems to be the only part of their lives that maintains their heritage. This isolation from both cultures contributes to the loneliness of the story. This isolation sets the stage for a new kind of loneliness, the loneliness of loss. Although they experience it differently from each other, both parents struggle greatly with the loss of their child. Both suffer privately. Shukumar hides the secret that he was able to hold their son--that he knew it was a boy. Instead of drawing them closer, the suffering drives them apart. When the electricity gets turned off, they are forced to face each other in the dark, and secrets start coming out. In the end, the loss of electricity is what ends up drawing them back together as they realize that they can still have each other if they work things out. 

As Goodwin (2016) notes, many of the students in our classrooms are immigrant children. As immigrants transition into their new homes and new roles, Americans with no immigrant heritage may be tempted to assume that, since the kids have friends and their parents have a job, everything is as normal as can be. Lahiri's short story reminds us that it is possible to be lonely in a crowd. The secrets that no one knows, that no one else understands, cause an isolation that cannot always be bridged, even by the best of intentions. The children in our classrooms are not likely to be able to articulate this, so it is up to us as teachers to do our best to communicate love and respect to our students regardless of their attitudes in class. As Shukumar and Shoba demonstrated, lack of energy on the outside may point to something painful happening on the inside. 

Goodwin, A. L. (2016). Who is in the Classroom Now? Teacher Preparation and the Education of Immigrant Children. Educational Studies :/Educational Studies, 53(5), 433–449. https://doi.org/10.1080/00131946.2016.1261028

Lahiri, J. (1998, April 13). “A Temporary Matter,” by Jhumpa Lahiri. The New Yorker. https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/1998/04/20/a-temporary-matter

Meyer- Week 6

I am currently due with my second child next month. With my first child, she was born at the end of the school year so I was able to enjoy the entire summer with her so I never really thought about postpartum and the struggles that come with it. I was also lucky to have my mom able to watch it. With my second child, I am only allowed to take off six weeks. I have to use my sick days that cover the six weeks. If I want to take anymore time off they consider that " child bonding time" and I have to take deduct days and not get paid for it. Therefore, I am forced to drop my 6 week old baby off at a daycare and return to work. I feel like I will spend most of those six weeks worrying about my child because she will still be so long and about my own healing.  When reading ": Learning form India's PostPartum Traditions," I can see that India puts a lot of importance on child birth and the healing process. They are concerned with the mother and want her to heal and be pampered and get lots of rest. They are receiving massages every day to help them feel rejuvinated. They are put on a special diet to help them and the baby. They are taught proper ways to care for their baby. They also learn how to deal with postpartum depression. I feel like these are a majority of things that get neglected in the United States. I feel like women are pressured to return to work quickly due to finances and never get the proper time to actually take care of themselves. 

While reading " A Temporary Matter" by Jhumpa Lahiri, I do feel like if they were in India when their loss happened, they could have been able to survive the devastation and make it out together. I feel like this loss happening in the United States drew them further apart until they lost each other. The part that stuck out to me was when it was stated that her placenta had weakened and she’d had a cesarean, though not quickly enough. The doctor explained that these things happen. He smiled in the kindest way it was possible to smile at people known only professionally. Shoba would be back on her feet in a few weeks ( Lahiri,1998). When the doctor said that, I feel like they felt that they were supposed to be fine with losing their child because these kind of things happened. She was back to her feet in a couple weeks. If they were India, I feel like she would have still been given the proper grief counselor to help them cope with this and still been taken care of as she was in an even more vulnerable state leaving the hospital without her child. 

Shoba's main goal was avoiding the situation and keeping herself distracted. Shukumar did not know how to help her cope with the situation and learned that avoiding it was easier. I do not blame Shoba for getting an apartment on her own. I feel like this is something they will never be able to recover from and the sad truth is that it is because they were away from India in a foreign country that did not put a lot of emphasis on their situation. I hope one day, immigrants can feel that they belong and can feel safe in a country that is not there own. This should make teachers more aware of how their own immigrant students can feel lost in our classrooms. 

Resources:

Lahiri, J. (1998). A temporary matter. The New Yorker. https://moodle.morningside.edu/mod/resource/view.php?id=1149987

Learning from India’s postpartum traditions. Nutrition Care of Rochester. (n.d.). https://www.nutritioncareofrochester.com/article.cfm?ArticleNumber-30

Religions - Hinduism: Baby rites. BBC. (2009). https://www.bbc.co.uk/religions/hinduism/ritesrituals/bab.shtml

Lampman- Week 6 Post

 After this week’s readings, and thinking about the main characters in the short story, I wonder if they had been in a location where their culture was more present with other people who also came from that culture, if that would have changed where they were six months later.  In reading about India’s postpartum traditions, it seems like some of those traditions were followed, for instance, Shoba’s mother came to live with them for 2 months.  Even so, did she feel supported mentally and emotionally?  It seems that Shukumar was dealing with his own grief in his own way.  I got to wondering if there were ceremonies in India or the Hindu religion that they do for babies who do not make it?  

I also wonder if they had more support with friends or family members after the loss of their child, if things would have been different.  Maybe by shutting people out and not having that support, it made things harder for them to move past this tragedy.  Part of me wonders if it was harder for Shoba since she has memories from India and Shakumar does not?  They did not speak of the Hindu Baby Rites in the short story, but I also wonder if they had performed those ceremonies since Shoba was so far along?  Not that losing a baby at any time period is easy, but that could have played a part in making it more difficult for them to heal.  

Another thought that came to mind is if therapy is something that is prevalent in India or the Hindu religion?  I know that can be a taboo topic for people in all cultures, however, I do feel like it is becoming more normalized as people are more apt to talk about mental health and healing.  I wonder if either Shoba or Shakumar had thought about this or if this was something that was not an option for them.  I also wonder if Shoba being alone having the baby and after played a part in their grieving and if they didn’t feel like they could grieve together?  

I know postpartum is so difficult.  I personally had a lot of anxiety when I became a new mom.  Thinking about the postpartum treatment that was shared in the article sounds so lovely in the fact that women have a support system in India.  If I would have asked my mom or mother in law to stay and take care of me, they would have, but I didn’t feel like that was something I could do.  I think in America, we are so accustomed to having the baby and having to do it all.  I remember thinking about maternity leave and how I was going to be able to afford it.  Thankfully, I had been working at my job for many years and banked up enough sick leave to be paid for the 3 months I took.  My coworker who had a baby 2 weeks before me had only been with us for a year prior.  She only could afford 6 weeks, and looking back at where I was at 6 weeks with my anxiety, I would have been a mess.  I remember my doctor telling me that places in Europe have maternity paid for for a year in some places.  After having a child myself, I realize how much work we still have yet to do to help mothers in their postpartum period.  

Resources:

Lahiri, J. (1998). A temporary matter. The New Yorker. https://moodle.morningside.edu/mod/resource/view.php?id=1149987

Learning from India’s postpartum traditions. Nutrition Care of Rochester. (n.d.). https://www.nutritioncareofrochester.com/article.cfm?ArticleNumber-30

Religions - Hinduism: Baby rites. BBC. (2009). https://www.bbc.co.uk/religions/hinduism/ritesrituals/bab.shtml

Brown - Week 6 Post

Because Shoba’s and Shukumar’s culture has many traditions associated with pregnancy and childbirth, which are different from the “norm” culture in the U.S., the loss of their child affected them in ways in which made it difficult to heal and move on. Shukumar’s description of what the doctor said really highlights a difference in cultures. He says, “The doctor explained that these things happen. He smiled in the kindest way it was possible to smile at people known only professionally. Shoba would be back on her feet in a few weeks. There was nothing to indicate that she would not be able to have children in the future” (Lahiri, 1998). While I was reading this, it gave off a feeling of lessening the importance that Shuba and Shukumar put on pregnancy and birth and that they could or should move on. According to the article “Learning from India's Postpartum Traditions,” mothers are given at least 6 weeks in a period of confinement where they heal from the pregnancy and bond with the child (“Learning,” n.d.). It is never really mentioned if Shoba was given time off to heal after the birth like how their culture suggests for mothers.

After the loss, the couple was not comfortable speaking to each other about what happened, so they avoided the grief by throwing themselves into work, in Shoba’s case, and study, in Shukumar’s case, which also lead to a decline in their relationship. According to Roberts et al., “In India, grief over stillbirths is hidden for several social and cultural reasons. If a woman loses a baby, repercussions from stillbirth may include stigma, blame for the poor reproductive outcome, abandonment and abuse, or loss of status and power within her husband's household because he may take a second wife” (2012). This could also be a reason as to why the loss is hitting them so hard. Especially if Shoba followed all of the traditions of eating healthy and preparing for the birth that are suggested in the “Learning from India’s Postpartum Traditions” article. However, there would be less stigma and blame from neighbors as they are living in a different culture.

I do not believe American culture puts as much emphasis on pregnancy as does Indian culture. In American culture, there is a lot more emphasis put on modern medicine, rather than more traditional medicine. Many of the rituals discussed in the “Hindu Baby Rites” article were very similar to what I have experienced with my brother having children and in my culture. However, there seems to be a lot more emphasis on these rituals for this culture. These rituals include a naming ceremony, the child’s first trip out, the child’s first taste of solid food, and the Simantonnyana or baby shower (“Religions,” 2009). In my family, these were more exciting stepstones rather than a ritual or tradition. As my culture is the “norm,” I have not had any experiences where my cultural practices were not available to me. However, I feel that when cultural practices that are norms to us are not available to support us, it can be confusing to navigate and may lead to feelings of loneliness and lack of support.

References

Lahiri, J. (1998). A temporary matter. The New Yorker. https://moodle.morningside.edu/mod/resource/view.php?id=1149987

Learning from India’s postpartum traditions. Nutrition Care of Rochester. (n.d.). https://www.nutritioncareofrochester.com/article.cfm?ArticleNumber=30

Religions - Hinduism: Baby rites. BBC. (2009). https://www.bbc.co.uk/religion/religions/hinduism/ritesrituals/baby.shtml

Roberts, L. R., Anderson, B. A., Lee, J. W., & Montgomery, S. B. (2012). Grief and Women: Stillbirth in the Social Context of India. International journal of childbirth, 2(3), 187–198. https://doi.org/10.1891/2156-5287.2.3.187

Dibert: Week 6 Blog Post

This was a very interesting and sad story. The story A Temporary Matter by Jhumpa Lahiri is about a couple who have gone through the unimaginable sadness of losing a child. What started off as a good working partnership, has now turned into a couple who is coexisting and keeping secrets. The title really got me thinking two different ways. The idea of a “temporary matter“ could be even though the loss of their child is difficult, this is just a temporary situation they were in. Even though they will forever feel sad, if they can get through this hard time, this temporary time, that they can get back to the way they were. Another way to look at it could be their marriage, and the life they were going to have was only “temporary“. Now that they have gone through what they have, the feelings they had for each other were temporary, and it is time to move on. There are many different ways. You could look at this story, but I was very interested to find the different meanings within it.

According to the Nutrition & Lactation Education center, there are many practices put into place for what to do during and after pregnancy such as diet and nutrition, personal care, and other things that new mothers should not do. However, there are not practices for people who have lost a baby. Those types of articles don’t prepare you for how you are going to feel, what you can do to prepare yourself, and how your life moves forward. I believe the cultural dislocation to the story is the idea that you can do everything right, but things can still go wrong. How does this couple then move on from that? What can they do to help each other get through the unthinkable? Finally, the BBC article talked about different rituals that new parents can do with their new babies. Again, though, none of the rituals talked about what to do if you no longer have that baby. For example, the ear piercing ceremony. I wonder if this is something that could be conducted even if the baby passes? The family still name the child as well as pierced the ear? I think this could be a way they could’ve tied these rituals together. The story shows how their cultural dislocation amplifies the sense of loss and disconnection in their marriage, making it more challenging for them to navigate their grief and find a path for healing.’

References:

BBC. (2009, August 24). Religions - hinduism: Baby rites. BBC. https://www.bbc.co.uk/religion/religions/hinduism/ritesrituals/baby.shtml 

Lahiri, Jhumpa. “A Temporary Matter.” Interpreter of Maladies. New York: Houghton Mifflin, 1991. 1-21. 

Learning from India’s postpartum traditions. Nutrition & Lactation Education Rochester NY. (n.d.). https://www.nutritioncareofrochester.com/article.cfm?ArticleNumber=30

Akkermann - Week 6 Blog Post

 Week 6: Article Summaries and Commentary

Grief is a complicated state. One never anticipates being in its presence; once one faces it, one will see many ways to handle grief. Lahiri (1991) paints a picture of a couple who have suffered the loss of a child and have drifted away from one another. Shoba buries herself in work outside the home, and Shukumar wants to stay home to block out the world (Lahiri, 1991). Their Indian culture may influence the loss of their child. Those who practice Hinduism have rituals carried out from the time babies are born until they are school age (“Hindu Baby Rites”). Hindu rituals that take place before the birth of a child are to ensure that the child will be well physically and mentally (“Hindu Baby Rites”). Lahiri (1991), through Shukumar, tells us about the baby: “Our baby was a boy. His skin was more red than brown, He had black hair on his head. He weighed almost five pounds. His fingers curled shut, just like yours in the night” (p.20). So, in a way, Hindu ceremonies helped because the baby was physically sound. The mental state of the child may be what they would consider the downfall of the pregnancy because it is Hindu belief “that the mental state of a pregnant woman affects the unborn child” (“Hindu Baby Rites”). Their child would never experience rituals like the rice ceremony (Lahiri, 1991), Jatakarma, Namakarna, Annaprasana, or Karneavedha (“Hindu Baby Rites”). I am sure the idea of not being able to experience these rituals put them at a loss, especially since they had anticipated being able to carry them. 

In Indian culture, mothers are well cared for after giving birth. They are given a time of rest at their mother’s house, doing nothing but healing and feeding their baby (“Learning from India’s Postpartum Traditions”). In Shoba’s case, her mother came to her home and cared for her by cooking, cleaning, praying for more grandchildren, and being unhappy with Shukumar because he had not been there (Lahiri, 1991). The Indian culture is effective in treating mothers with living children and those who experience the same loss as Shoba. The needs are the same and more so. “A mother’s support system should be nourishing and supportive in such a way that she is able to get all the help and affection she needs to heal and recuperate well after birth both physically and emotionally (“Learning from India’s Postpartum Traditions”). Shoba needed this, and I don’t think she got it until she and her husband began talking again in the dark (Lahini, 1991). Both were in the dark because the loss of their son was a surprise to them. “Something happened when the house was dark. They were able to talk to each other again” (Lahini, 1991, p. 19). Talking through their darkness in the dark allowed them to “weep together, for the things they now knew” (Lahini, 1991, p.21)

 

References

“Hindu Baby Rites.” https://Www.bbc.co.uk/Religion/Religions/Hinduism/Ritesrituals/Baby.s, 24 Aug. 2009. Accessed 11 July 2024.

Lahiri, Jhumpa. “A Temporary Matter.” Interpreter of Maladies. New York, Houghton Mifflin, 1991, pp. 1–21.

“Learning from India’s Postpartum Traditions.” www.nutritioncareofrochester.com, www.nutritioncareofrochester.com/article.cfm?ArticleNumber=30. Accessed 13 July 2024.

 

 

Lansink - Week 6 Post

    The loss might have been affected by cultural dislocation because they shut out others around them such as friends and even friends of friends since the loss. Perhaps, maybe if Shoba and Shukamar were still living within their culture they would’ve invited friends to help them through the grieving process instead of shutting both them and each other out. Shoba and Shukamar became incredibly distant to one another and no longer recognized each other as the woman/man they’d fallen in love with. They had kept secrets from one another, especially as it related to their loss and grief and these secrets created distance between them post birth.
    According to Nutrition Care of Rochester, a new mother’s mom will stay with her for about six weeks to meet the needs of both her newborn and recovering mother who’s given birth (Nutrition, n.d.). However, due to cultural dislocation, Shoba was not able to experience this necessary care after giving birth. When in reality, she likely needed and required more care after the loss of her child, rather than giving birth to a healthy child. Had this practice taken place for Shoba, her and Shukamar’s marriage and bond could have potentially been spared. The many customs and traditions of India’s postpartum care “acts as a preventative to postpartum depression” (Nutrition, n.d.). This reitorates the previous statement that perhaps Shoba and Shukamar’s marriage could have been spared had they been able to follow India’s postpartum traditions, as Shoba’s emotional , mental, and physical needs would have been met.
    According to BBC (2009), Hindu rituals include something known as the Punsavana ceremony, which occurs three months into pregnancy to protect the fetus and promote strong physical growth of the fetus. Another ceremony is performed at the seventh month of pregnancy, called Simantonnyana, which emphasizes healthy mental development of the fetus as well as meeting the mother’s needs as Hindus believe the mental state of a pregnant woman affects the unborn child (BBC, 2009). Therefore, the loss could have been possibly less likely had these traditions and ceremonies been carried out, through their cultural beliefs, to protect and promote health for the unborn child.

References

BBC. (2009). Religions - hinduism: Baby rites. BBC. https://www.bbc.co.uk/religion/religions/hinduism/ritesrituals/baby.shtml 

Lahiri, J. “A Temporary Matter.” Interpreter of Maladies. New York: Houghton Mifflin, 1991. 1-21. 

Nutrition Care of Rochester. (n.d.). Learning from India’s postpartum traditions. https://www.nutritioncareofrochester.com/article.cfm?ArticleNumber=30