Beckman - Week 6

This story was a very difficult topic to read about. Obviously, the loss of their child had a huge impact on Shoba and Shakumar. I found it interesting that what lead to their healing and moving on was an old tradition that Shoba experienced when living in India. At first, I thought the secrets were Shoba’s way of reconnecting with Shakumar. By seeing the worst parts of each other, maybe they could both move on from losing their child. After I found out that Shoba was using this as a way to tell Shakumar that she needed space and was moving out, I was devastated. I do wonder if this was her way of healing in reverse. The article about Hindu postpartum traditions talks about how the mother isn’t left alone for 6 weeks, doesn’t do housework or cooking, and generally works on healing and providing for baby. After her loss, Shoba also had her mother come and help out and Shakumar cooks and helps to do the things that Shoba normally did. She was, in a way, experiencing the postpartum rituals without bringing home a baby. To me, it makes sense that she might want to take care of herself and be alone to start her healing. 

I also thought it was interesting how we got to see so much of Shakumar’s grief. The grief of male partner’s is not at the forefront of people’s minds after a miscarriage happens. It is clear that Shakumar feels this loss heavily. I think it is even more sad because he had just gotten to that stage of ‘we can do this’ and was excited to be a parent and then he found out the news. I thought it was a nice view of both sides of grief that we typically don’t see. 

Lahiri, Jhumpa. “A Temporary Matter.” Interpreter of Maladies. New York: Houghton Mifflin, 1991. 1-21.

Learning from India’s Postpartum Traditions. (n.d.). https://www.nutritioncareofrochester.com/article.cfm?ArticleNumber=30

Gill - Week 6

When I read the short story, I was crushed as a woman who has had three miscarriages. I know this is a tough enough subject to deal with without being affected by cultural dislocation. There is so much guilt that both men and women feel when a stillborn happens. Not to mention the fact that men and women deal with grief differently. However, these two did not have anyone from their culture to help them. There did not seem to be a funeral or burial. There are no friends and family around to help them.  

If the couple were still in India, Shoba might have had six weeks of postpartum recovery, with her mother there to help with warm baths and massages. Instead, she jumps back to work without even really grieving, exercising to forget about weight gain and body distortion. Then Shukumar, given time to work on his Distortion, has time to think. He is supposed to research, write, and work but instead feels guilty.  

You assume that Shoba is upset at Shukumar because he was not with her, but he was networking and trying to be successful. Who could have known that something like this would happen while he was gone? Shukumar is trying to take care of Shoba, but when neither talks to the other, no one takes care of the other. They get overlooked by neighbors and friends who are taught not to pry and meddle in the United States. Cultural dislocation is complex. You don't fdon'tike anyone can understand what you are going through because they do not share the same culture or belief. You already feel like an outsider, and then your world shatters. They are both dealing with a difficult situation in a difficult place. I am glad they created time to talk; maybe those talks will continue for both. They may find support groups or help from their place of worship so they are not alone.

Lahiri, J. (1998). A temporary matter. The New Yorker https://moodle.morningside.edu/mod/resource/view.php?id=1149987

Learning from India’s India'stum Traditions. (n.d.). https://www.nutritioncareofrochester.com/article.cfm?ArticleNumber=30

Bolinder Week 6

Week 6: Article Summaries and Commentary

Prior to motherhood I would have had sympathy for the woman in the short story. As a mother now, reading this story, I ached for the loss they both endured. It was very hard to read and as described in the prompt, their unimaginable loss takes a toll on their life and their relationship with each other. The articles we read described the way the Hindu people surround mothers in support while pregnant and after birth.  The article speaks to the culture of moving back in with your mother so that you can be "mothered" while you are learning how to be one yourself. They put a large focus on familial support and are very intentional about the nutritious foods that they are giving to the new moms while they heal and work to feed their new baby.  Beyond this they also celebrate the small moments like going out in public for the first time and piercing their ears.  Had the woman been in India for this very difficult time, I can only imagine that even though her baby did not make it, her family would have surrounded her in support just the same. Rather, her husband was unsure how to connect with her and have difficult conversations and work through their grief.  Even though her mother was able to visit, it was only for a short time and not enough of what the woman needed. Their dislocation made a very tough time even more challenging. Specifically for the Indian culture and the way they support women as compared to the lack of support generally in the United States, this would be a very challenging time to be away from home.  

Dislocation takes you away from your familial support and life as you know it.  In a new country with different food, culture, and people, you are coping with so much more than your typical life circumstances.  Life is challenging enough without adding in the absence of family, traditions, close friends, among other things that bring comfort and joy to people adding to their quality of life. The distance from home led to distance in their relationship, more time needed for healing, and it takes an electrical fix for them to gain some necessary intentional time to reconnect with one another.

Resources:

Learning from India’s Postpartum Traditions. (n.d.). https://www.nutritioncareofrochester.com/article.cfm?ArticleNumber=30

BBC - Religions - Hinduism: Baby rites. (n.d.). https://www.bbc.co.uk/religion/religions/hinduism/ritesrituals/baby.shtml

Campbell - Week 6

Kirsten Campbell

ENGL 478 G

Week 6 Post 

When I looked at Shoba and Shukumar’s culture, I connected their story to many couples. I also found a few connections with my parents as they tried to conceive. Despite the cultural differences, loss occurs every day.  The similarity between the couple and my parents is that “The doctor explained that these things happen”(Lahiri, 1998). My mom experienced a handful of miscarriages, one of which was even life-threatening to her health. My dad asked the question of how we could prevent them because he saw the toll it was taking on my mom, and the doctor said the same thing. Doctors cannot be so involved and share too much empathy with their patients because it will cause attachment problems. Still, I wish they had more to say than “it happens” because there are women who struggle and have three to five miscarriages before their rainbow baby. Because of the traumatic experience of miscarriage and stillborn births, mothers often do not want to try again. 

Unlike my parents, Shoba and Shukumar struggled to confide in each other about the loss of their child. I cannot imagine losing a child yet, but I can imagine it being a huge mountain to climb. I feel like also the roles and portrayals of men and women in society come into play here as they both try to go back to life as if this colossal loss never happened, and their relationship deteriorates.  “They wept together, for the things they now knew” (Lahiri, 1998). It was after Shoba announced that she had found an apartment where Shukumar opened up. This is the moment where they realize they both need each other. 

There is much more emphasis on traditions in India than in the United States. In the United States, parents celebrate with an announcement, then they have a gender reveal, baby showers, and then when the baby is born. After that, parents celebrate the child’s sixth-month birthday and first birthday. In the article Baby Rites, ceremonies and prayers are held for the child, such as going out for the first time, eating solid foods, ear piercings, or first haircut. These things happen for babies in the U.S. but are not considered traditions. This is why the loss for Shoba and Shukumar was so drastic: they were already through many of these traditions and were looking forward to the future with their child. The only other similarity I found was belly binding, which many women in the U.S. do when they have a cesarean birth. Weirdly, though, women who have a vaginal birth do not get offered a belly band at the hospital, but women who have a cesarean birth do. India’s postpartum traditions are very beneficial for women because they can prevent rheumatism, arthritis, backaches, and joint pains in the future. I also found that their diet and other postpartum remedies were very interesting as well. Looking back at Shoba, it is never specified that she recuperated; she just distracted herself with work, but she had to go through the postpartum traditions with no baby present, and we see the postpartum depression through her, as she lacked eye contact with Shukumar, neither of them wanted to talk about it, which lead her to the thought of getting away from it all. 

References:

Lahiri, J. (1998). A temporary matter. The New Yorker. https://moodle.morningside.edu/mod/resource/view.php?id=1149987

Learning from India’s postpartum traditions. Nutrition Care of Rochester. (n.d.). https://www.nutritioncareofrochester.com/article.cfm?ArticleNumber=30

Religions - Hinduism: Baby rites. BBC. (2009). https://www.bbc.co.uk/religion/religions/hinduism/ritesrituals/baby.shtml

Schiefelbein - Week 6: Formulating a Philosophy

 Cultural dislocation is a unique challenge for anyone new to the U.S.   A Temporary Matter helped me to better understand how important cultural traditions are to one's identity as well as one's ability to cope through grief and loss.  The story also serves as a strong illustration of how cultural dislocation is unique to the individual, as both characters experience it on different levels.

I think this story paints a poignant portrait of the consequences cultural dislocation can have on our relationships with others.  When faced with challenging situations, we can become isolated and disoriented, when lacking the understanding of our own cultural expectations.  Similar to the characters' experience with the cultural norms of India, the supplemental texts provided some insight about the lives that the characters had expected to be living, but also left gaps in understanding how to react after the unexpected loss of their child.  As I read the story, I was reminded of the Glazier and Seo article, and felt like I was with Shukumar, fumbling through awkward interactions and feelings of failure and hopelessness.  And, while Shoba was able to rely on the postpartum Indian rituals to help with her physical recovery, she was unable to access resources to help her deal with the perinatal grief she was experiencing.  These vacancies largely influenced the loss of relationship between the two characters, and illustrated for me how much we all depend on cultural norms.

Stories woven with characters from diverse backgrounds are powerful tools that evoke dialogue in my classroom.  I think it is important that as I welcome more diversity into my classroom, that I lay the foundation for respectful discourse and guide my students to explore their own family histories and traditions.  I also need to be mindful of the instructional materials I use.  I strive to be diligent about finding text with which each student can connect, and to provide opportunities for my students to interact with stories through multiple lenses.

References

Ezell, S., & Daly, A. (2022). Honoring multiple identities using multicultural literature. Texas Association for Literacy Education Yearbook, 9, 35 - 41

Glazier, J., & Seo, J.-A. (2005). Multicultural literature discussions as mirror and window? Journal of adolescent & adult literacy. 48(8), 686-700.

Stevenson Blog 6

 The short story, A Temporary Matter began with the couple receiving the news that they would be without power in the evenings for the next few days. Initially, the reader could assume this was a normal conversation between a married couple.  Rather quickly, however, we could tell that there was a strain on this marriage. The author gives us several details to infer this couple is nearing the end of their marriage, even before the reader learns of tragic loss of their baby. They use the lack of power as an opportunity to open the door to communication. They begin sharing things that they hadn't told each other. In a way they were airing out their secrets with one another while skirting around the major cause of disconnect. It appears that they are becoming closer to reconciling and possibly making their marriage work, but once the power returns, it is revealed that the wife is moving out and the husband confesses that he held their baby boy. He swore to himself that he would never tell her because it was when he still loved her and didn't want to hurt her. By telling this final secret,  it seems like he is acknowledging that the marriage is over. When the wife turns out the lights and sits back at the table, it makes it appear that there is hope for them and leaves the reader to wonder what their future will hold. 

The couple were both children of immigrants from India.  The wife has traveled to India significantly more than the husband and it is clear that they do not have equal connections to their heritage. He cooks food from their culture, but there is no discussion about any of the pregnancy traditions mentioned in the readings being done, which makes me wonder if they were performed. Being children of immigrants, I do not get the impression that there are many Indian immigrants in the community that would have participated in these rituals. They had friends nearby that came for birthday parties, but none came to visit after the birth while they were grieving.  However, after the birth, her mother came to stay as she would have if the baby survived. She prepared meals, washed clothes, and performed the chores so that her daughter could rest and heal. She followed the customs of Hindu rituals for her daughter. 

Reading the story first helped me to try to connect to their experiences without knowing what I was going to be asked to reflect on. The introduction of the characters' names led me to believe they were an Indian couple and as the story went on, this was confirmed. After reading the articles, I was able to look at the story through a different lens. I looked at their experiences as children of immigrants and how they must have felt isolated and alone during this difficult time when their heritage and customs should have provided comfort. The absence of a cultural community hindered their healing process. Going through the loss of a child and feeling as though you are alone in the process would be enough to sever any marriage. 

To connect the article by Goodwin, just as educators need to take different approaches with our immigrant population of students, health care professionals need to do the same. They need to be understanding of rituals, traditions, and beliefs surrounding health care and child birth. I know that one of my students made the difficult and traumatizing journey from El Salvador to Ankeny all alone as a 12 year old. He endured the elements and abuse all alone and the trauma obviously did not disappear the second he crossed the border. As teachers, we had to be responsive to this and when he informed us that his younger brother was taking that same journey, we created a plan to assist him, while still maintaining high standards of learning. A doctor delivering a still born baby of a Hindu couple needs to be responsive to that trauma and connect with the patients to guide them to the appropriate resources for their culture. 

BBC. (2009, August 24). Religions - hinduism: Baby rites. BBC. https://www.bbc.co.uk/religion/religions/hinduism/ritesrituals/baby.shtml

Goodwin, A. L. (2016). Who is in the classroom now? teacher preparation and the education of Immigrant Children. Educational Studies, 53(5), 433–449. https://doi.org/10.1080/00131946.2016.1261028

Lahiri, Jhumpa. A temporary matter. Interpreter of Maladies. New York: Houghton Mifflin, 1991. 1-21. 

Hamm Week 6

     I took a thorough look in the "mirror" with this story and article.  I am never pleased when I read an inflammatory article that works diligently to provide a separation between the people of the country. The article about the students in the classrooms leads new educators to believe they need to create a separation between how they prepare for students of color, which is an abusive use of scholarly information.  New educators, and those in the profession long term, need to be looking at how to mend the disruptions of politicized color lines! This separation will never provide a positive route for unification on important matters. A country can only grow together or separate! The more American citizens allow the politicians to determine how we look at our neighbors, the more likely the country will divide.   it does provide some interesting constructs about the situation within the story and women of America.  

    Throughout American history, several things have happened to the birthing process of the American woman—from being alone with a midwife in settlement days to being kept in a hospital for over a week with no real access to the infant during the 50s. (Rice, Norma. 2000) Speculatively, one could guess that these things altered to assist the new mom to acclimate to the new life they delivered. Over the last 30-35 years there have been integrations back to midwife presence during deliveries, family staying and helping with the new infant, and extended maternity leaves (I am always curious why some women get angry at these measures because they were designed to assist, but to some, it feels like control). 

    The couple in this story does not have any control—not over the loss or how they are dealing with the tragedy.  Their culture plays a large role on both sides of their loss.  The husband seems to be hit harder by the loss, which could be tied to him holding the deceased infant before the undertaker cremated the body. This is not a practice from his Indian culture, in fact, it is frowned upon.  It was suggested by the American doctors that he should hold the infant and he had no guidance from others, like his deceased father.  Holding the child weighed on him, and he kept it a secret from his wife.  She, on the other hand, had a more Indian, culturally tied, family.  She missed some of the rites, but her mother did come to take care of her after the loss of the baby.  Interestingly enough, in Idia, the loss of an infant is shamed and there are zero instances where emotion is coddled. The husband can even take a new wife, who may provide the progeny needed to continue the familial line.  The mother-in-law also seemed to blame the husband for not being around when the baby was born.  

    I make a tie here to a story that was told to me by my grandmother, whom I referenced above.  She told me that in her mother's time, there were many stillbirths and lost children to various illnesses that could not be treated either due to lack of money or medical technology.  The mothers had to continue because there was no one else to take care of the day-to-day.  How is it that the industrialized world falls apart because one person calls someone else a name that they dislike, but cultures around the world move from one tragedy through another without the hangups that we seem to sift through? 

 

References: 

Goodwin, A. L. (2016). Who is in the classroom now? teacher preparation and the education of Immigrant Children. Educational Studies, 53(5), 433–449. https://doi.org/10.1080/00131946.2016.1261028  

Lahiri, J. (1991). A temporary matter. New York; Houghton Mifflin.

Roberts, L. R., Anderson, B. A., Lee, J. W., & Montgomery, S. B. (2012b). Grief and women: Stillbirth in the social context of India. International Journal of Childbirth, 2(3), 187–198. https://doi.org/10.1891/2156-5287.2.3.187